Web Unspun

Before the No Service trip, I had only camped twice...in suburban backyards. Similarly, my Jeep hadn’t ventured far beyond the paved path. I'm not sure which of us was racing to catch up more, but the grand outdoors had us swerving to survive. Who takes the wheel(s).

Ring, ring. Hello. Who is this? You want to what?! Eat at me from the inside while scratching away at the sanity that’s disintegrating beneath me? I’ll have to call you back; I have the credit card company on the other line, and they’re threatening the same thing. Who has the last word.

What is it about a kaleidoscope that inspires creativity? Every view opens the door to new possibilities, ordinary objects take on exotic shapes, and colors converge in harmony...beauty spirals in all directions as light illuminates the imagination. This expansive, mystical experience is really no miracle at all, though; rather, it's a matter of perspective thanks to mirror assembly and positioning. Is a kaleidoscopic view possible at all times, then, if we tinker a bit? Who takes a look.

"You just have to go with the flow," replied Mark, the hot air balloon operator/tour guide, after I asked him for any words of wisdom as a result of his 30+ years of experience piloting these majestic aircraft. It's so much easier when you're hovering above the mountain peaks...or maybe that's the key for total liftoff. Who is full of hot air. 

"Earworms" (a.k.a., songs that get stuck in a person's head) are caused by a phenomenon called "involuntary musical imagery." According to psychologists, the frequency of earworms "depended upon the thickness of several brain regions," but does that mean it's better to be thickheaded? Or does thick-headedness welcome more earworm invasions? Who inches toward an answer.

It seems I missed the sprawling shoreline, the dinosaur bones, and the various components of the state meal as I drove through Oklahoma, but I did find unearth a key to my mental clarity while on the move. Sooner or later, Who yields to being OK. 

I thought following the yellow brick road to an oasis would be a lot easier. Though my walk through the Ozarks wasn't derailed by apple-throwing trees, flying monkeys, or a jaded witch, the path to the wizard, or rather the waterfall, was not filled with munchkins or Technicolor either. Who is off! 

You may recall, early on in my unspinning, I explored my fear of the dark as it relates to the monstrous cIown wreaking havoc in my subconscious. At that point, I was still in recovery mode, with city lights and neighbors abound. Would the clown pop up again as the shadows of the wild set in? Who is in the dark.

It’s all fun and games till someone gets possessed, but is contacting departed souls always an exorcise in futility, or is it possible to filter for Caspers only? It doesn’t matter, I already know who I’m gonna call in the end.

I’m taking baby steps toward happiness and hopefulness; are your arms open to catch me if I fall? Don’t worry, I’m not packing; however, if you pick me up, it won’t be long till you bid farewell to your peace of mind as I take aim at the walls around your heart.

Squinting to make numbers function correctly does not a mathematician make; ask my high school math teacher who helped me see I needed long-range vision support. But these small gains in arithmetic didn’t grant me any clarity on what’s next. Where’s hindsight when you need it?

Pucker up, because positivity is ready to greet you with a big kiss at the door, but don’t look twice! These lips are made for talking, and they have quite a stay-in-place story to tell.

It speaks to my privilege to look at this aisle and not be panicked; I have enough toilet paper. But if demand continues to outweigh supply, I might need to get creative as my inventory dwindles. Maybe If I had approached all toilet paper buying opportunities through the “enough is never enough” lens before, this problem would have been wiped out.

I imagine the Chicken Soup for the Soul series wouldn’t be the best-seller it is today if readers didn’t have souls. Did you know that the initial version was rejected 144 times? I guess publishers don’t have souls…Though the tears flowed with each reading, I can’t remember finding a recipe for the soul. So what’s cooking in there?

Matt…Matt…WAKE UP! Now’s no time to be caught with your eyes closed. No, this isn’t a dream; just follow me along the branches, and we’ll make our way to the leaves to wave goodbye before they break away and turn into snowflakes. Hurry up, time is fluttering! Somebody pinch me.

MATTHEW don gets straight emotional in this one broh. The planets going ham on each other broh.

Geez, jealousy is a hideous color on me. Even after escaping from the dark cocoon, I still find myself feeling so insignificant unless I can express my integrity. But will it be as beautiful as others’ integrity? Gulp…It’s touch and go from here on out.

I’m overflowing with all kinds of emotions as I reach the end of “This is Why…” Did I touch down and land safely or is that sinister spiral still pulling me under? There’s only one way to go, and it looks like there won’t be a dry eye in the web after all is typed and posted.

Hair today, gone tomorrow. Back in my teens, my stylist once told me I had “model hair.” I’m not sure if she was just being kind or trying to keep me as a regular, but there is no way I could walk into an agency with my matted mess and get offered a gig. If only she was able to trim my reality for that to be true.

The bigger, the better; that’s the key to perfection. The bigger we can make our bank accounts, reputations, and influence, the better our lives become, right? Where does that leave us in relation to each other, though; does the drive to enlarge our position take precedence over all else?

The path to righteousness…can it be plotted out using the cluster of red marks that adorn my face like a treasure map? I’m guessing not, so how do I go about scrubbing out the shame and forgetting the scars of wrongdoing? Will I ever find the right answer?

When I visited the Adler Planetarium in 2016 for its Back to the Future REEL Science Film Series event, I was at a very different place in my life. Had someone given me a glimpse of my future then, I probably would have jumped into this Delorean to edit the past. Unfortunately, we can never quite know what exactly our future holds, though, so how can we prepare for it now?

"Who are you?!" the pesky caterpillar bellows from behind the looking glass as I try to avoid my reflection. Alice certainly had better luck peering in and not being viciously attacked by her own inner demons when they caught sight of her, but maybe the lessons she learned could help me face the evil clown who picks me apart in the mirror. If only the Mad Hatter 'twas brillig!

Adidas: All Day I Dream About...Sports? Sex? Sugar? Though the popular brand is not, in fact, an acronym for anything, it has been suggested that dreaming is the first step toward actualization, especially in fairy tales. But what if I'm dreaming about more sleep, and instead of reaching for my dreams while I'm awake, I hit the snooze button? Cinderella certainly would have had a different ending if she were in my shoes. 

The Price is Right is part of the morning routine within the Chicola household. Each day, the familiar theme song echoes through the kitchen, while contestants "come on down" to win big prizes via games like Plinko, Cliff Hangers, and Hole in One. While I'm sure the beautiful cars everyone jumps up and down for are spectacular, my Jeep continues to prove its longevity and durability, demonstrating to me that it is the "whole package" despite the naysayers. Would trading in make me a traitor?

Where there's smoke, there's fire. I spied quite a few versions of Smokey as he issued warnings and instructions about extinguishing campfires along my path. Unfortunately, "pour(ing) lots of water" will only make my overheated phone more miserable and angry. "Only you can prevent forest fires," and we accomplish this by recognizing when and why things overheat, right?

Some tents and sleeping bags are made for freezing cold, pouring rain, and blustering wind; others (like mine)...not so much. I expected the conditions to be warmer overnight as I traveled further south, but the elevation of each of my stops left me vulnerable to the reality of the frigid weather. When life freezes your lemons, what's the next best move?

After spending a majority of the trip digging holes to...lay waste...I walked into a pit bathroom at Arches National Park and was reacquainted with my long-time friend: the toilet. Why did it seem so foreign in those first moments? Don't worry, I didn't make the mistakes of Number 2 or 3 (or a combo of both), but returning my life back to the flush may require further training...