Who is Hopeful
The time has arrived for my imminent departure from Chicago. As mentioned in Preparing for Take Off, there is some lingering anxiety as I contemplate the unknowns of this next chapter of my life, and CHICO threatens tunnel vision in its fight for survival. Yet, my focus on joy and love has helped me remain balanced and find hope. Now, I should preface by sharing I have written about instilling, restoring, and inspiring hope throughout my professional career, but my personal experience has been limited as I consider how much I am distracted by negativity when my outlook is in question. How can I practice what I preach and restore my own hope in the midst of so much uncertainty?
An important lesson lies outside of my peripheral, beyond the screen of my phone as I look down at the ground below me. Have you ever noticed the explosion of life moving to and fro on the sidewalk while you're walking? Some days, the ants, worms, and beetles are able to successfully navigate the squashing shoes, grazing predators, and challenging conditions and reach their destination. Other days, catastrophe strikes. Why risk life to arrive at unchartered territory, though? Michael Berg shines some light on The Way: "Our reflexive desire to avoid obstacles and challenges, to say nothing of real hardship, works against our own best interests at the deepest levels of our being" (108). When I approach new challenges with hopelessness, I fail to fully embrace my nature and connection to the light. The result: CHICO takes complete control by selfishly focusing on its limited perspective, stomping around without concern for others. I become the chicken who remains the punchline of the joke rather than the one who uses his wings to fly.
What is the basis of hope, then? Ernest Becker, as usual, paints a dreary picture of the reality we face in The Denial of Death, sharing that "Full humanness means full fear and trembling, at least some of the walking day...when you get a person to look at the sun as it bakes down on the daily carnage taking place on earth, the ridiculous accidents, the utter fragility of life, the powerlessness of those he thought most powerful---what comfort can you give him from a psychotherapeutic point of view?...[M]an uses his ideas for the defense of his existence to frighten away reality" (59). When I consider my descent into darkness at 11-years old, I find the light, literally. I closed my eyes, prepared for eternal darkness, and found hope by praying to see the light of day again. If you're following along in the blog posts, you know that my hope dissipated once my prayers were answered in the crash because of the weight of reality; however, by now embracing the light and dark (a.k.a. the basis of hope), the "daily carnage" referenced by Becker translates into an opportunity to express authenticity, vulnerability, balance, and selflessness as my perspective broadens beyond my own survival tactics. In others words, I find the keys to my destiny.
It seems so easy; however, CHICO demands to know how I intend to sustain my hopeful stance when confronted with hardship. Without clear answers, CHICO leads MATTHEW toward addictive behaviors to reduce anxiety rather than find comfort in hope. According to Bill Plotkin in Nature and the Human Soul, "As you roam farther from home, you increasingly crave security and you feel less courageous about entering the mysteries, a destabilizing experience whether those mysteries are fearsome or alluring...Your passion to learn something about your soul gifts and your soul path (your true nature) evokes the strength and courage to undertake the often-harrowing practices involved in leaving home, practices that require you to look fiercely and compassionately at your addictions, your wounds, your childhood survival strategies, and the monsters lurking in your personal shadow" (255; 256). When CHICO asks those hard-hitting questions, I consider the belief I have in myself and my willingness to learn regardless of the dark places it takes me. Much like the experience of love, it's important for me to find hope within myself as well as the world around me as I take these necessary steps toward discovering and exploring my true nature.
I am able to arrive at a hopeful place even though so much is left undecided; I see that the path ahead will help me live in accordance with my beliefs and move closer to my destiny, regardless of the outcome. Next stop, Grand Rapids, Michigan to hone my self-reliance skills and discover my soul-rooted identity (per Plotkin)!
I hope that one day I will get a few responses to these questions.. :)
How have you experienced hope, particularly through challenging situations? Where do you "place" hope?
When you lose hope, how does it impact your well-being?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Finally getting to the other side,
Who (?)