Who is Compassionate
Note: The following post contains links to and images of sensitive material related to animal cruelty. So you know, the sensitive images follow the signature line.
Last time I explored my connection to the dark, I recognized my Animal nature and set out to better understand my addictive behaviors in relation to "food, sex, drums, sleep and pain." Not knowing exactly where to start, I focused on listening in the dark, but all I heard was screaming. Sometimes it's in my dreams/nightmares, sometimes it's in my memories, sometimes it's my reality. So much of CHICO is tied up in shouts of anger, rejection, and hatred that it's hard to hear anything else.
Have you ever heard a rabbit screaming for its life at night? When I first heard it, I rushed outside thinking someone was being attacked, though I wasn't quite sure what I would do to help since it sounded so horrific. As I stared into the darkness, it registered that it was a rabbit most likely reaching The End at the jaws of a coyote. It brought me some comfort knowing it wasn't a person getting viciously slaughtered, but something in that screeching implanted itself in my brain. Did it match CHICO's voice? Or did it match a different voice---Who (?)---screaming out from MATTHEW that fateful night when CHICO suggested it was The End?
Often, when CHICO hears shouting from within, he craves food. Meat has been a main component of MATTHEW's diet. At least 2-3 times a day, I was eating chicken, cow, pig, or turkey in some form, venturing into more exotic animals (like alligator) when I felt adventurous. Also, I was spending a LOT of money on sugar---cookies are MATTHEW's Achilles' heel---to curb anxiety. Within a year living in Bucktown, I had ordered baked goods through Postmates 12 times at $17 per delivery (not including what I paid for the actual sweets). Sadly, this was just one of my favorite sites to order from...there were 5! While shelling out big money for sugary treats, I was throwing out carrots, lettuce, spinach, and other fresh produce MATTHEW purchased but failed to eat because CHICO didn't see it as a viable option in amongst the screaming. Being at the top of the food chain, CHICO held onto a privileged position, leading MATTHEW to consume whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. And what happens when I let CHICO take control? I selfishly take with little to no regard for life around me.
Carl Safina shares an example of how selfishness creates more screaming in Beyond Words, "People in Japan and the Faeroe Islands kills dolphins and pilot whales by running steel rods into their spinal columns while they squeal in pain and terror and thrash in agony...The lack of compassion for dolphins and whales indicates that humans' 'theory of mind' is incomplete. We have an empathy shortfall, a compassion deficit. And human-on-human violence, abuse, and ethnic and religious genocide are all too pervasive in our world...We have the capacity for wider compassion but we don't fully live up to ourselves" (268-269). As a result, the phrase you are what you eat is incredibly telling when I consider the screaming of the rabbit and the screaming of my own darkness; CHICO cycles through pain, selfishness, and guilt by satiating its hunger; in turn, it creates a more hopeless MATTHEW as I process the destruction being done to my body and the bodies of those slain to adorn my dinner plate.
How can I reduce the internal and external noise that deafens me in the dark, then? As Brian Swimme and Thomas Berry suggest in The Universe Story, "The pervasive presence in the human world of both sacrifice and the honoring of those who sacrifice seems to indicate our awareness that suffering and destruction are intimately associated with existence itself. We are moved to take on health-restoring deprivations because of our recognition that existence is a high privilege" (59). After hearing the cry of the rabbit, I heard the story of Raju, the elephant who cried tears of joy after being freed from brutal slavery after 50 years. This was followed by a story about the Yulin Dog Meat Festival, then the movie Earthlings. The practice of raising adorable puppies---so full of joy, fragility, and light---to become meat seems so barbaric, especially as I consider all the important lessons dogs have taught me about love throughout my life. Yet, CHICO's mindless craving for chicken/cow/turkey/pig is no different; it limits my capacity for compassion as I focus selfishly on my perspective and fail to recognize the sacrifice being made for my existence.
Article Source: Hill, Catey. "This chart proves Americans love their meat." MarketWatch. Published December 1, 2016. Chart Source: USDA, Rabobank 2016
This chart, which was analyzed in a Market Watch article titled, "This chart proves Americans love their meat," shows that American meat consumption is on the rise. Even more disturbing is the way the article describes this trend: "Meat has even become an easy and popular snack option...Chicken is of particular appeal to consumers because it’s inexpensive...Beef consumption, on the other hand, has fallen thanks to its high price (cows require more grain and a lot of land, which ups the price)" (Hill 2016). Chickens, like dogs in China, are big business. According to United Poultry Concerns, "In the U.S., each year, 9 billion 'broiler' (baby) chickens, both males and females, are raised and killed for food. Worldwide over 50 billion chickens are now being slaughtered every year" ("Chickens" 2017). United Poultry Concerns, a nonprofit organization, is "dedicated to the compassionate and respectful treatment of chickens, turkeys, ducks and other domestic fowl" ("About" 2017). When I listen in the darkness now, I'm reminded that life is precious for us all, not just a select few regardless of what CHICO believes, but it requires me to act---the true expression of compassion---rather than sit idly by.
What drives MATTHEW to eat so mindlessly, then? CHICO regularly encourages food that abuses MATTHEW's body or food that is sourced via unsustainable, unethical, and inhumane practices. This becomes even more complicated when ordering out or when offered food by others, because I certainly appreciate the work/resources that went into the meal; however, I find the death count on my plate tallying up over the course of a day if I don't consciously choose a vegetarian or vegan option whenever possible. By demonstrating compassion and broadening my perspective of life, I find love and renewed respect for myself and the world reflected on my plate. This vastly improves my ability to listen since the screaming from within stops; however, it does not replace the horrific screaming from the outside---screams that resonate with the same things I was screaming out for on the inside: love, compassion, and hope. I mean, 50 billion lives lost is more than a massacre, even if it is "just" chickens. Has life become so meaningless and hopeless to suggest it is not worthy of more compassion? Or, has CHICO made itself into that which it mindlessly eats?
Some questions:
How is your animal nature realized through your relationship with food?
How do you recognize the sacrifice that is made to sustain your life? Do you make personal sacrifices?
How do you express compassion for the world around you?
Look who's quacking now,
Who (?)
The photos above are of (top left clockwise): Molly, Jackson, Rigby, and Dusty. The photos below are graphic and are from The Holidog Times.
