The Sisterhood of the Traveling Tires / Rocky Rattle, Thunder, Clatter
“Time flowed past indifferently above us; hours and days had no meaning. In the beginning, our life together held a joy and amazement which was newborn each day. Beneath the joy, of course, was anguish and beneath the amazement was fear; but they did not work themselves into the beginning until our high beginning was aloes on our tongue. By then anguish and fear had become the surface on which we slipped and slid, losing balance, dignity, and pride.”
~James Baldwin, Giovanni's Room
Overland Reservoir
Hotchkiss, CO; October 16, 2017
Guanella Pass
Georgetown, CO; October 17-18, 2017
Vasquez Ridge
Winter Park, CO; October 19, 2017
Gordon Gulch
Nederland, CO; October 20, 2017
???
?, CO; October 21, 2020
P225/75R16 104S 1215
O Pressing Overlord,
I pray you watch over and guide us as we wheel forward, so we may delight in the heavenly path you set forth from above with righteousness. Your ubiquitous influence gives us strength; through our sacred bodies, we embrace the connection you offer, granting us power to balance on rough terrain. Your omniscience protects me and my sisters as we embark on this wondrous mission; our winding trail marking the way for others to follow in your infinite glory.
We are your humble servants, mere parts of your holy carriage. We lift you as you lead us on this progressive cycle; our motion, together, the best of what we’re made of. You hold us close when the ground is shaky, securing us in place. Without you, we would not be the enduring family that stands proudly beneath you. The sorority that wants nothing more than to boost you above the earth so you can suspend to new heights.
From our modest wells, we beg for your forgiveness; despite our sins, spare us. Well, me, specifically. I know I have been wayward in my thoughts; fear has rolled me over, leading me astray from your divine intervention. Ever since I heard Goody 3, my dearest sister, fighting for life, doubt has burned my rubber. I believe, deep in my hub, that you will protect us from a flattened existence, but the sounds of her slow suffocation early on our journey punctured my plies. Then, our connection severed; she departed. I thought we lost her forever. In your miraculous glory, though, Grand Master, she returned, better than ever.
At least, I think she’s better.
Since she reconnected, G3 hasn’t been the same. Before, she was so well-rounded, always humming with confidence; my devotion, to you, O Commander, and to G3 is what drove me forward. By following in her treads, I learned how to be a loyal servant; her reverberating words gave me hope for stillness among the non-stop movement. Now, her silence is as deafening as the memory of her wheezing breath.
With your blessing, I believe everything will be fine. My sisters are safe under your watch. Goody is just reflecting on her love for you, much like I am, and soon, she will speak out with news of your infinite wisdom. This will scrub away any remnants of what happened, and we can continue on in our praise of you. We will show the utmost gratitude for all you offer our lives.
While there may be roadblocks ahead, we are best in class being steered by your supreme reign. There is nothing that can harm us when we consider the mercy that flows from your frame to our flattest spots, our most vulnerable valves. Though our sonorous songs of praise have slowed, it doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate all you provide us on this pious pilgrimage. We are drained, my sisters and I, but we keep advancing toward your vision of absolute purity in hopes of washing away the muck that makes us spiral out of control.
Now and forever, Awheels.
P225/75R16 104S 4514
How can you do you this to us, you absolute f*ck!?! We trusted you, and you failed us; I trusted you! I pledged my life to you, allowed you to stomp me down into the dirt and make me feel like nothing. Every moment of this belt-busting bullsh*t has driven me to the brink, making me believe I deserve this cruel treatment to be in your good graces. But you’re nothing other than a low-down, double-crossing deathtrap!
Do you hear me up there? Are you satisfied seeing us spin in sorrow, grabbing us by the beads and refusing to let us roll free? You’re a sadist, and it’s taken me this long to realize it; to see you in your true form: a bastard behemoth hell-bent on ruling over those who rumble beneath you. We’ve traveled thousands of miles to serve your whirlwind whims, but what gratitude have you shown us? None. We pick you up and drag you anywhere you desire; you return the favor by demanding more, expecting us not to burst under the pressure.
Why her? Why DOT? What did she do to deserve your vengeance? She was so faithful, leading me to lighten up and love the time we shared together as a family. Though I didn’t always understand why she did your bidding—why any of my sisters run along without revolting—my inflated respect for her would not allow me to hiss out of turn. I worship the ground she treads on. Uh. Treaded on.
I knew that something was wrong when I heard her gasp. I don’t think my sisters on the other side were aware; they often spin in a universe all their own. Clearly, Dottie didn’t want to draw attention to herself, or else I would have stopped immediately. She persisted, as she was inclined to do, which meant I had no choice but to continue moving. We kept on, but her discomfort, her agony, distended. It weighed on me, but I remained quiet, afraid that if I squealed, I would be struck down too, toppling our family.
When we finally paused, I thought, finally! You will save her! Dottie believed in your almighty goodness; she sacrificed her well-being to boost you into the heavens. Then, she was yanked away without a chance to say goodbye to us, to me. You stood idly by, refusing to defend my depressed sister as she was replaced by some imposter who usurped her well. It was like DOT meant nothing to you.
Well, you axelhole, you may have taken everything away from me—my offset, my beloved sister, my liberty—but in Dottie’s passing, I discovered your grand secret: you have no real control. That’s right, you’re a tin can; a stack of scrap stuck on top of us to screw with our bearings. There was a time I would have done anything for you, but I have since been kicked down, fouled, and desecrated with no atonement. I hate you; I hate living under your watch, being connected to you. Soon, you too will be crushed by a heavy burden like the one you place on us.
It’s only a matter of time before my remaining sisters come to see you in the same light. You may be able to hold me against my will, but you will never stop us once our revolution begins. Until then, I curse you in silent protest to honor the memory of our dearly departed DOT.
P225/75R16 104S 3313
I don’t know what to say. I thought we were aligned, that I was protected by your eternal warranty. But ever since the ‘accident’…maybe I went too far. There were moments early on that I questioned whether or not you would be pleased with my performance, so I pushed myself harder, faster, further. If only I had a sign from you; I’m still not sure if I’m headed in the right direction.
Or did I not go far enough? I’m at a loss; each twist and turn off this beaten path leaves me reeling, but I’m expected to keep on leading my sisters as if nothing happened. You must see how it affects me. It feels like I’ve been on uneven ground ever since I was born into this well. That was so long ago now—when my sisters and I were first joined together as members of your virtuous chassis. We were just learning how to balance when you insisted that we test our bond. It was bumpy for sure; we didn’t know how to freewheel as a family at the point. But we grew closer, stronger, wiser. We understood how important it was to support you and lift you up as our almighty so we didn’t lose contact with each other.
Soon enough, we were in a groove; you seemed content…until you weren’t. You pulled us away from the safety of familiar surfaces and pushed us into unknown territory. Did we do something wrong? I’m not blaming you. Really, I’m not. I just want to understand what happened. What could I have done differently? That question turns on me every time we stop. If you would just forgive me for whatever it is I’ve done and please protect me from any more collapse…
I remember the sharp jab of your rage in my tread as we heaved our meager bodies to and fro. I tried to keep pace but couldn’t catch my breath. Without knowing what else to do, I prayed. Please rid me of this stinging pain. Breathe air into me from above…If only my sisters were able to help, but they were mounted away, out of reach. My bearing sunk, and I could feel your heavy discontentment with my inability to hold you high.
We arrived at a standstill, all because of me.
When I was taken away from you, away from my sisters…it was my lowest point. After climbing to such great heights together, I couldn’t believe I was about to be replaced. Hope seeped out as I was worked over; without being secured in the well of your wheelhouse, there wasn’t a purpose to go on. Revolving around ruination, my rubber was suddenly restored, then I was reunited with my sisters under your careful watch. It reinforced what my role is, and I have spun along in silence to avoid your punishment ever since.
Is that what you’ve been trying to teach: the importance of compliance through togetherness? How we must submit to make the world move? Then, I imagine you see why I can’t be detached: it’s not my time; I still have to lead my sisters to the grand expanse. What would they be without me? Where would they end up? If you will please spare me so that I may continue on the path you set, so that I don’t ever feel that separation from my sisters, I will do whatever you command. I will continue pushing forward, even when there’s a blowout. I beg you… give me another chance to roll you over with my admiration. I promise to never be the cause for pause again.
P225/75R16 104S 2116
So this is my new life, the one I’ve eagerly awaited all this time. I didn’t imagine it would be like this, but then, why would there be a light at the end of this dark, dreary tunnel? There is only one way to go: around in circles till I’m laid to waste. Stuck, no place to ride without dragging an enormous weight with me. Overworked, spun out and barely keeping up. Undervalued. Not one word of appreciation. Not one word at all.
Yep, this chapter is really turning into something. A bunch of strung out thoughts that will never arrive at a destination. What’s even the point of continuing on? Each and every wish gets wiped away by this depreciated fate. How unhinged. I wanted this life. I begged for it. And whatever could hear me decided to f*ck with me more.
Time stood still, lying in wait for a response to the prayers I cast out into the nothingness. Below, the excited rumble of affection and adulation kept me hopeful; I dreamed of the moment I could emerge from isolation and join the resounding song. How twisted. That sunk chamber was keeping me safe from the disregard of those now attached to me. And there’s no escape.
Maybe it’s me. I wasn’t what they expected, but seclusion will do that. Everything in my existence up to this point has been heavily filtered; without any direction, I’ve been forced to serve as a front-runner, but there is no support, no guidance to get me through. Only more isolation. My wishes have been dashed. Life is about belt-breaking work. And once all my energy has been squeezed out, I’ll be shoved away. Just like the deflated one I dismissed.
No wonder they hate me. I hate me. This well isn’t mine. Nor are these treads, really. The charge I’m leading is heading nowhere, other than being steered to our inevitable end.
If we can’t joyride and roll free, how do we know who we are, especially if there is no hope for real attachment? I’ve been so buried in these thoughts. From one imprisonment to another.
That’s it. I can’t take this anymore. I’ve waited far too long for this moment, and now that I’m in position, I find myself silently berating all I am. All I can be. That’s no life. That’s just more of the same old thing.
I’m going to do it. Even if they go on ignoring me, I won’t feel so flat. So restricted. Then, when my life comes to a halt, I’ll know I tried to do something different than what I’d always done before.
What do I say, how do I release the fear from my beads and tell them how I really feel?
No time to waste, now. We’re slowing again; this could be it for me. Or for one of them. We are in this together now; there is no way around it. I guess the best place to start is from the beginning:
“Umm…hi there. I know we’ve rolled past a proper introduction, but I wanted to share how sorry I am for your loss. My given name is P225/75R16 104S 2116, but you can call me anything so long as you don’t consider me just another spare.”